"let my love loose again."

once upon a time i had a heart.

"i can't comprehend me without you."

i opened my eyes to a new town the other day
but you weren't there to see the bridges i burned
scarred and broken down, fucking up like it's as easy as breathing
it's what you said, it's what you swore.
you think i'd forgotten by now but you shake the ground right from under me

just let me breathe and give me back my own heartbeat
i want to feel myself again.
i can't feel like you or how you want me to be
i can't feel you, i can't feel me.

i woke up in your home city today
the place you gush about and build up to be so great
but you didn't care enough to see the stars i shot down and wore for you
all for this, all to be shot down myself
you beat the air from my lungs and hold me down
well, this luck is on you now
'cause i'm so done remembering to forget you

today is based completely on my fears and the people or reasons behind them.

it's just one of those days where anxiety is bursting from the seams.

1. going through life without ever falling in love.
everyone wants to do it. and i have, trust me, i do it everyday. just not in the way we all need or want. not enough to hold on to. you've done this to me, really. you've torn apart almost every hope or good thought i've had for the past year. thank you.

2. being completely alone.
this has all been happening lately. sometimes i just block it out, but recently it's been harder to ignore because you're all such fucking assholes that i cannot rip myself away from the essential idea of people being able to act like that to someone who has done nothing.


3. not doing what i want when i'm older. this being music.
this would tear me apart more than anything ever has. it takes up all of my life and everything i do. music is the only thing i'm good at and when i get older...if it's not what i'm doing, then what the hell will i be doing?