today is based completely on my fears and the people or reasons behind them.

it's just one of those days where anxiety is bursting from the seams.

1. going through life without ever falling in love.
everyone wants to do it. and i have, trust me, i do it everyday. just not in the way we all need or want. not enough to hold on to. you've done this to me, really. you've torn apart almost every hope or good thought i've had for the past year. thank you.

2. being completely alone.
this has all been happening lately. sometimes i just block it out, but recently it's been harder to ignore because you're all such fucking assholes that i cannot rip myself away from the essential idea of people being able to act like that to someone who has done nothing.


3. not doing what i want when i'm older. this being music.
this would tear me apart more than anything ever has. it takes up all of my life and everything i do. music is the only thing i'm good at and when i get older...if it's not what i'm doing, then what the hell will i be doing?